The Blue Heron
Do you have signs from people you have lost or sudden reminders of days gone by? I have always heard that when you see a redbird, that means you are being visited by someone who has died. I have a story about a different bird…
About a week or two after Whitten died, I was on the phone with a friend and was standing on my deck. It was a nice winter morning, and I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked to my left and standing on the next door neighbor’s chimney was a gigantic bird. It was 4 feet tall - it looked prehistoric. It was maybe 200 feet away and was looking at me. I swear it was. We stared at each other for a minute or two and then it just swooped away, I mean we’re talking a 6 foot wingspan. Majestic. It was spellbinding and unnerving at the same time.
It was a blue heron.
We live not far from the James River and we have two lakes in our neighborhood, so it’s not unusual to see them, but in a wooded suburb on the top of a chimney? Very interesting and unusual. I thought that was strange, but went back in the house.
I was visited by many birds that winter. The crazy male cardinal that would crash into the window and poop on my rear view windows, was now joined by another male cardinal. No female mates nearby - odd. Then I actually saw two male pileated woodpeckers in the woods. Wow! Where were the females? Early that spring, a male bluebird would sit on our french door handle and peck at the door, like he was trying to get in. I’d had lots of bluebirds, but none had ever done that before. One day, in the pouring rain, I heard a mourning dove cooing, and I found it perched on the windowsill looking in the window. I had never seen one up that close to the house.
I was convinced these birds were visits from my brother and/or my son. I even had geese fly over the house on my first time to get in the car and leave the house, weeks after his death. But they were not flying in the usual V, they were shaped like a W. (After freaking out and sobbing for 15 minutes, I then decided this was a sign of approval and went on my way.)
But the heron next door was still the most amazing siting of them all. A few weeks after I saw him (I’m sure it’s a him) I was driving through the neighborhood, and he flew right over me. That was also unnerving - like a small airplane going right over the car. Then a week or two after that, I was driving down the road and one flew over me again. It was amazing.
A month or two after these sitings started, I was starting to go through Whitten’s things that had come home from his Brooklyn apartment, and there was a banker’s box full of papers. There was a folder titled “Currently”. In it, among all sorts of things, was an illustrated poem about the blue heron. It was a dark poem, but there it was in my hands.
I was stunned and sat there in silence for a long time.
We have herons at the family river house on the Chesapeake Bay, and I had seen them before, but now I follow them with great interest. They stand down on the pier sometimes, or on the shore, and they walk around in the murky cove, fishing. They fly over the property. They’re so incredibly big.
And about 3 or 4 years ago, the Audubon print (above) of the blue heron was all the rage and I was able to get them on notecards and napkins. I already had a framed print of it over our sofa in the den, for a few years, by that time. One of my favorite shops even offers a monogram with them, which of course I have on wine glasses and gift tags and such. It’s a symbol for me. My friends have given me all sorts of things with herons on them.
Since that day in 2013, I have seen dozens and dozens of blue herons. All over the world. Sometimes they find me and sometimes I search for them. In the Caribbean with my friend Ginger; in France with Chip and my friend Amy; in Colorado with my friend Becca. But mostly they fly by me in the neighborhood or in town, especially at times when I could use some encouragement, or a friend. Or some love. It makes my day to get a visit. They fly by, reminding me that I am never alone. 💙
